Professor Obi | President-in-Chief | Doctor Obi | United Island of Ireland | Prof Obi | Irish Phone Hacking Scandal | Dr Obi | Serious Data Security Breach | Professor Doctor Joseph Chikelue Obi | A (Very) Very Important Media (Press Corps) Announcement of the Impending Sacking (and Lifelong) Banishment of the (All-Island) Data Commissioner | An Updated Online Version which also Includes an External ‘Cheget’ Video.
For The Immediate Attention of the Presidential Media (Press) Corps.
I regret to inform you that The Most Excellent Professor Obi , (President-in-Chief of the United Island of Ireland) , will not be available to address you Today (as previously planned) — due to a Very (Very) Serious (Data) Security Breach , which recently struck at the Very Heart of the (All-Ireland) Presidency.
Doctor Obi would have really (really) loved to personally address you (all) directly , in relation to this matter , but He is (currently) rather busy (indeed) on an Extremely ‘Heated’ Video Conference Call — with the (Soon-To-Be-Sacked) Irish Commissioner For Data Security (Who , If I May Unofficially Say , is MY One and Only Prime Suspect in this Utterly Treacherous Campaign of Profoundly Despicable Calumny).
The Fact that She , (The Irish Data Security Commissioner) , is soon about to Sacked , Shamed , Banned (and Permanently Banished from the Whole of Ireland Forever) does not necessarily give Her the Right to (Cheekily) Substitute the (Publicly) Listed Phone Number of the (Immensely Popular) “Chu Chu (Chow Chow)” Chinese Restaurant , (in Downtown Dublin) , with that of the (Totally Confidential) Top Secret (“Cheget”) Hotline of the (Most Excellent) President-in-Chief.